Someone who speaks about women liberation and married his own classmate is promoting a brand that helps you choose your life partner on the basis of caste, religion or similar things!
Ignore him but don’t ignore your own self.
This post is not against arranged relationships. But in today’s time is it feasible:
- with girls equally educated, why should girl’s family pay dowry?
- with patience threshold extremely low on both the sides, who has the tolerance to adjust in a relationship arranged by someone else?
I am not going many years back. But how do you think arranged marriages used to happen around 8-10 years back in India?
Well, relatives used to bring proposals of marriageable age boys & girls from distance relations or neighbor hoods. The boy & the girl used to see each other. In most of the cases if it’s a yes from boy’s side, the girl had no rights to say “no”.
Ok let’s say the very beautiful girl marries a very settled rich boy well-arranged & well-approved by the society. Then what?
Slowly they adjust with each other like everyone does. They raise their family like everyone does. Their ultimate settal-maint has done by the society!
If everything goes well for the couple, of course it would be because of the people who made their togetherness possible, may be the one who foresaw their future together and proposed them for each other. Trust me there would be lot of people around ready to take the good credits.
And if by chance things don’t go well, it’s of course the couple’s luck. After all who has the control on someone’s destiny?
The time is very much changed now.
Here comes 2013 in which the movie Shudh Desi Romance is recently released.
Wait before you misunderstand my reference. Personally I don’t agree with the ending of the movie in which they finally don’t marry and continue living together.
But those days are almost gone when a boy used to marry because the girl looks good and girl used to marry because parents have enquired well about boy’s handsome salary. And they used to think that like all others we will also be adjusted in the life together.
There was a dialogue in the Shudh Desi Romance “Ye poore India ko bas settlement ki padi hai”. (Complete India bothers only about settlement.)
True that, reaching the marriageable age in India is such hoopla. Everybody around wants to know your plans of settling down!
If by chance you have your own plans to settle down, you become the talk of the town!
You start feeling like a star with everyone enjoying to gossip about your personal life. Ooh-la-la!!
But the question is, is getting an ‘ideal’ tag from society that worth to sacrifice complete life for?
I feel marriage is just an optional thing, a part of life but not life. And it is a decision to be taken by the individual, be it love marriage, arrange marriage or no marriage.
Marriage doesn’t mean settal-maint in any way.
For me important is to live a life in my own way, for myself and my dreams. I wouldn’t care if it’s a love or an arrange one.
It’s not about love but it’s about the understanding that one cannot have with someone in a day or two.
Even no use to go for a love marriage where you know that you have to live your life forgetting your dreams!!
After all it’s your life. Decide if you would want to ‘settal’ and lead the life that someone else has planned for you or choose a partner you are sure would help you at every step of your settal-maint in life?
(settal-maint, slang for ‘settling down’)